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So you may have noticed I haven’t updated this for a while. Well, I’ve been on holiday to Malia, Crete - wooooo! That, and I no longer have a working computer at home 
Amit and Nick from Bath booked it on the Bank Holiday Weekend and we flew on the 4th - a proper last minute jobby! I really can’t tell you how good it was. So much alcohol, so much sun and so many Ladies!
I was a little apprehensive before I went. I’ve become far too attached to my creature comforts - my clean sheets, 8 hours sleep a night, ironed clothes etc etc, but all was forgotten the minute we got on the plane! Amit bought us each a fake moustache and cowboy hat, which we wore on the plane. From here on in we became known as the brokeback mountain boys - not entirely a bad thing! You see, gay icon’s are loved by women the world over and this quickly kick started our babefest! As soon as we got on the plane we started chatting to a group of Brighton Babes - who predictably stole our hats. We started drinking champagne and after about 3 hours we were so hammered we had lost 5 games of cards to the ladies and been given a final warning to be quiet or the plane would be diverted! We’re the kind of people you DON’T want sitting next to you on a 4 hour night flight!!
We arrived into the resort at about 4am and went straight to the first bar. Corkers in Malia is a wicked bar, playing rock and indie such as Arctic Monkeys and Oasis. We sat astonished while a girl, for a 10euro bet got completely naked on the bar and let everyone take photos of her neather-regions - welcome to Malia! At about 7am we headed off to McDonalds (yes the have a maccies and a Subway!) and onto the beach to watch the sun rise.
I won’t bore you with our daily routine - needless to say, we were woken almost daily at 11am by the bars re-opening (did they ever close?) when we either headed for the beach or pool for a full days sunbathing. At around 6pm we would get back and get on it - usually starting with Stella and usually finishing with a fishbowl cocktail! I will tell you about our apartment however. We went with Twentys and stayed at the Soula Marie Apartments, Malia. For anyone planning to go here - beware. It is a hole! The rooms were pretty standard and the staff friendly, but the pool is a rancid cesspit, you will have no chance of sleeping as its in the noisiest part of Malia and don’t expect clean sheets or bog roll!!
On the first day/night we met Mark and Mikey - The Doncaster boys! It was seriously like we’d known them forever! We went to watch the Football where there was a free shot for every England goal. Of course we won 5-0 so we were trollied by the time we left. We then headed to the Help Bar for the world famous Fishbowl cocktails! OH DEAR! How to kill yourself on the first night! After running around like a kid in a sweet shop amongst almost 3 to 1 women to men ratio, and losing the lads, I got back to the hotel, 2 lovely ladies in tow, to find Mark and Mike unconscious on the hall floor! Upon entering our room I found Amit unconscious on the bed and some random guy sitting on our balcony. Anna, Tor and I ‘politely’ removed the guy from our room, only for him to go outside and start kicked the unconscious Donny boys in the Head!! Mental!
The rest of the holiday blurs into one. The next day we went on a booze cruise on a boat around Crete. We were mullered by about 6 in the afternoon. The following day we went to a school disco where we were absolutely trollied - again! If you haven’t gathered already, every night was spent pissed - as the photos show!
I must also set this bit aside to say hi to some of the lovely ladies we met. Firstly, the Essex girls from Clacton - Lucy, Sarah, Sam and Libby. Wicked girls! Kind-of became part of our group at the end, as they were staying in the Illios Apartments opposite ours. Hi! Also Bianca, Emma et all who we met on the Plane from Croydon (Upper Wallingham actually!) Didn’t get yer numbers but maybe see you in Walkabout?! And last but certainly not least the lovely Emily’s - the girls from Xersonisos (nearby sleepy resort!) What a great couple of nights we had with you two. I only wish we’d been able to see more of you!
Ah well - it’s sad to be back, but the memories live on in the form of the Malia 2006 photos.
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