A guide to living (or visitng) Rio
Since living in Rio there are many things I have noticed (sometimes to my peril) that are different to life in the UK, so here are my top secrets of Rio and tips for getting by without too much trouble:
- Getting your tits out: There are many weird and wonderful things you will see in Rio, but women sunbathing with their boobs out is not one of them. Seeing an enlgish woman sunbathing topless in Greece or Spain – or even occasionally Brighton is perfectly normal, and certainly would not be frowned upon, but here in Brazil sunbathing topless is a big no no. Marju sunbathed topless one afternoon in Paraty and a guy come over and told me (not her) that it was not acceptable here and she will get arrested! For a country with such a carnival, drinking and sex culture (See Love hotels), this seems a rather bizaree unwritten rule. Ladies be warned. Don’t get your tits out on Copacabana!
- Women only Metro carriages: Perhaps a Rio peculiarity which goes hand-in-hand with the previous ‘no topless sunbathing’ rule is the women only train carriage. Why is topless sunbathing not allowed? Probably for the same reason women have their own train carriage on the Metro. Rio Men can’t control themselves! Because of the number of reported groping assaults on the Metro, the Rio Prefeitura (Council) installed a women only carriage, which operates from 6am to 9am and from 5pm to 8pm. Women can therefore travel to work in a nicely scented, eastrogen filled environment safe in the knowledge that any potential groper who tries to board will be pushed out by burly security guards at each tube station!
- Rio rain: As you may have heard, Rio suffered many terrible landslides in 2010 which killed many hundreds of people. It is therefore important you know about the Rio Rain. When it rains in Rio, it really rains. No English style drizzle. Several inches can fall in a few minutes and within a short space of time many streets get flooded. If you are here in Summer (December to March) – be prepared. At about 4pm each afternoon the skies will darken and down it will come – usually accompanied by a pretty incredible lightening show. Pack your things in water proof bags (or some of Rio’s typically crap carrier bags) before you leave your house or hotel in the morning and be prepared for a soaking. Luckily, the temperature never drops below 20 degrees so even if you do get soaked, you still stay cosy and warm.
- The Rio whistle: Psst. Oi Waiter. Pssssst. This is perfectly normal behaviour in Rio. If you want a waiter (or anyone’s attention for that matter) just push air in a hissing noise between your tounge and pallete. Simple. Don’t be offended if you hear someone doing it to you. It’s normal in Rio
- Love Hotels: Love Hotels or Motels are pretty common in Rio. These are not your ordinary cheap hotel as most look, some fancy boutique or just a name – these are an altogether different type of Hotel. You book these by the hour to, err, make out… Remember lads. Bag it up before you whack it up.
- Queues: I’m not sure if this is a hallmark of all highly socialist countries, a strict employment rule or just another weird Rio thing, but you will find many shops have hundreds of workers, yet huge queues. The reason? Many shops have multiple checkouts for different purposes. Drug stores often have one counter to scan your goods and one to pay. They give you a number for you order once its been scanned and you then queue at another til. In some stationary or gift stores you will find you have to queue three times! Once to scan your goods, once to wrap your goods and once to pay for your goods! Many Supermarkets, such as the waitrose of Rio Zona Sul, require you to weigh your fruit, veg and bread before going to the counter. Be prepared. Buying a bottle of water may take you 20 minutes.
- Halls: I really must find this out one day, but somehow the only sweets available Halls throat sweets – and they are litteraly everywhere. There are guys selling them from little carts in the street and gthey come in all different flavours and stregths. Seriously – how did Cadbury Adams capture the market like this?!
- - Plastic bags: Rubbish. Only one word for them. Unlike the UK where each shop or supermarket have their own design of carrier bag, here in Rio there is one standard; small and thin capable of carrying no more than the weight of a bag of sugar. Cariocas are aware of how crap their carrier bags are, so they have come up with a solution. In most supermarkets you will have a bag packer at the end of the checkout ready to double bag everything you by. If you buy one apple – it will be bagged. If you buy a bottle of water – double bagged. I once bought a bottle of Cachaca for which the assistant went to away from the til and came bag with an industrial strength paper bag used for bagging 25KG of coal… Oh, and if you ask for no bag (não preciso uma bolsa, obrigado), you’ll will be met with a face like you’ve just told the checkout assistant you want to stick a cucumber up his or her arse.
- Paper Napkins: These are the biggest joke of all. Imagine the thinnest crepe paper ever you maybe used at school. You know, the type that would tear when you tried to apply pritt stick to it. Now imagine that crepe paper coated in some kind of plastic-wax and imprinted with bobbles, which serve only to give it the texture of sandpaper, and you’ve got Brazilian napkins. Capable of mopping up 2ml of spilt fluid at best. Spilt one drop of Açaí? Oh dear – you’re gonna need at least 5 napkins for that spillage…
- Drinking Water: The tap water in Rio is not drinkable. Period. Disregard what some may say. Cariocas don’t drink it – I don’t recommend you do. In our flat in Lapa, the water was actually a dull brown colour (we kept a 5L bottle filled with it to remind ourselves!), whilst in Copacabana, the tap water looked clear, but stank like a swimming pool. Whilst you probably won’t get ill from it thanks to copious amounts of chlorine, I would opt for a filter (20 REais from most hardware shops) or bottled water. Just make sure you don’t throw your bottles in the sea…