By David, on May 26th, 2010 It’s happened to us all right? You’re standing at the edge of the road waiting to cross, when an old lady with a bunch of shopping bags looks at you forlornly for an arm across the road. You help yeah? It’s the natural thing to do; help an old dear across the road. Forgives you for your sins yeah? If you are in Brazil, here’s a tip. IGNORE THEM!
A few hours ago, I was sitting at a small red-rooved Guanavita bar on Copacabana beach, just outside the Othon Hotel having a caipirinha, when I heard the screech of heavily breaking car tyres. Marju had been cheekily using the facilities in the Othon and was due back any second so I turned around pretty sharpish to see what was going on. Low and behold, I could see Marju involved in an altercation with a stationary car. She was picking up some old lady from the floor where she was laying just infront, but not clearly injured, by the car.
Rather quickly, Marju came back over to our table where she announced the woman was a mentalist but looked back nervously at the woman in the central reservation of busy Av Atlantica. Before she had a chance to explain what had happened, the woman saddled over and started shouting at Marju in Portuguese along the lines of ‘I know how to cross a road, what do you think you were doing, i’m calling the Police’, before calling Marju a bitch!! Marju first replied ‘desculpa descupla’ (sorry, sorry) before being angered by the torrent of swear words and threats, and said ‘why did you run’?
I glanced across the bar at three other tables looking around in shock at what was happening, and at the threat of Police, decided enough was enough. ‘Ela savleu sua vida’ I interrupted (She saved your life), to which the woman started screaming at me in portuguese. Somehow the phrase ‘va se embora’ (Go Away!) – which I usually reserve for stray dogs slipped out of my mouth at high volume! The woman duly took note of my unhappiness and walked to the other side of the pavement, where she continued trying to gather the attention of several passers by to support her case.
I looked at Marju who was visibly shocked and asked what happened. Marju had offered the woman a helpful arm across the road after she had asked, but as a motorbike approached at some speed, Marju held the woman back. The woman resisted and fell in front of the oncoming motorbike. Fortunately, the motorbike avoided the woman, but the following car was forced to slam it’s brakes on to avoid smashing into the old bat.
Whilst Marju was telling me, the woman continued to stand on the pavement trying to tell her story of how the horrid foreign girl had tried to kill her. Fortunatley for us, the whole bar had seen and took it in turns to offer support to Marju. First, the guy opposite our table leant over and said good on me for telling her to go away by sticking his thumbs up, and signalled she was crazy. Then, the bar owner came over and said there were loads of snooty people on copacabana who were crazy and out to blame anyone for their own stupidity, and confirmed that Marju was a goodun. Finally, and most reasuringly, another elderly woman who spoke english and had seen it all confirmed that the crazy old bat had basically tried to kill herself yet felt it perfectly acceptable to swear at the one person who was on hand to help her out.
Marju and I sat staring at the wild Atlantic in shock. Maybe she was trying to pull an insurance scam? How could anyone in their right mind blame a passerby for such a mistake? Only in Brazil!
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